It Wasn't My Finest Athletic Achievement, But It Was My Most Profitable

In 2009 I traveled to the MW tournament in Las Vegas as I have done every year since. Our women's and men's teams both made the conference championship game. During the women's game I was visiting with some friends a few sections over chatting when a gentleman approached us and asked my friend if he wanted to participate in a halftime competition.

I immediately jumped in and said "I'LL DO IT!" My friend said no he wanted to participate so we agreed to settle this dispute like the ancient kings of old: through a game of Rock, Paper, Scissors. Of course we were abiding by the standard, best two out of three format.

Little did he know that many a disputes have been settled in the Bishop household through games of Rock, Paper, Scissors. Things like who gets the last spot in the game of James Bond 007: Golden Eye or who gets to ride shotgun when two people called it simultaneously.

The first round of RPS is irrelevant. Obviously it is better if you win but identifying and discerning the pattern of your opponent is really the point of it all. Then you mix what you already know of your opponent (ie personality type, likelihood to risk etc) with what their first move is and it's a simple science.
In this circumstance, my opponent was a kid a few years younger than I who wasn't the most socially dominant character around. I don't remember what his exact moves were, but I do remember that he won the first round and I quickly dispatched him in the next two.

Anyway having been victorious in the first contest my next quest was to win the real battle. I had no idea what my prize would be but I thought more than anything I was at a women's college  basketball game it would be my chance to look good in front of thousands hundreds of people.. EVERYTHING I'VE EVER WANTED.

I got down to the court and I was told the rules. I had to make 5 shots from around the key before my opponent. The winner won free gas money for a year. "What does that mean exactly?" I asked with anticipation of a response far less appealing than the initial description. "Well you get $3,000 in gas cards to 76 stations. You get six $500 cards."

"I must win this contest and destroy my loser opponent. And if he somehow wins I will kill him in his sleep tonight." I exclaimed out loud for everyone to hear.

Anyway, Sarah Eishen was nice enough to document this event and this past week I tracked her down to see if she still had it. She uploaded it to YouTube and you all get the pleasure of watching it. 

                                   

So I count myself shooting 4-12 (33%) from around the key. An embarrassing number no doubt. But if you look at my opponent he is still at the free throw line while I am chest bumping a giant gas pump themed mascot. Regardless of my poor shooting.. I was $3000 in gas cards richer. In your face middle east crisis!